The Worst Christmas Songs Ever

Through perusing other weblogs, I came across this list of the worst Christmas songs ever - in his opinion, of course. I of course agree and disagree with the author. Here's the list, along with my agree/disagree comments.

(Dis)Honorable Mentions:

- Santa Baby by Everclear: the contention being that no man should ever sing a song called "Santa Baby". I agree. It's kind of creepy.

- A Wonderful Christmas Time by Paul McCartney: his contention is that he heard it too much while he worked retail. I think the song is kind of catchy. But I would go with the Earthsuit version of this song over McCartney's version - which you can find on Happy Christmas, Vol. 3.

- Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas, any version: I personally like this song, but I do agree with his point that if we're supposed to have a merry Christmas, why does it have to sound so depressing? I personally like Joy Williams' version off of the new WOW Christmas, or even Amy Grant's version is nice too.

- The Christmas Song by anyone not named Nat King Cole: I had to listen to this song to see which "Christmas song" is actually being talked about. Oh yes, "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire." I like John Jonethis' lounge version of this song off of The Ultimate Lounge Christmas with John Jonethis. Or better yet, give me Andy Williams.

Okay, now for the top (bottom) five:

5. Carol of the Bells by Tran-Siberian Orchestra: I disagree on this one. Since I used to listen to heavy metal back in my high school/early college days, I can appreciate the mixing of heavy metal with classical music. Although I'm not a big fan of everything TSO does, this song is their most well-known one, and for good reason. It's good.

4. Here Comes Santa Claus, with verses 3 and 4: I have never heard a version of this song with those verses included, but when I read the verses, I couldn't believe what I was reading!

Santa knows we’re all God’s children
That makes everything right
So let’s give thanks to the Lord above
‘Cause Santa Claus comes tonight

I wholeheartedly agree with what the blogger says: "That’s right kids! Give thanks to the Lord, not because the Messiah’s born or because our eternal salvation has been enabled, but because a fat guy’s going to bring you wooden toys! Lovely message for the little ones."

3. Winter Wonderland by Annie Lennox: Never heard it. But since I avoid Annie Lennox's voice like the plague, I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't like it either. When I'm in a store and her song "Broken Glass" starts playing, I look for the closest sharp instruments I can find and shove them into my ears. I like John Jonethis' version of Winter Wonderland, but I would also recommend Stryper's version as well. (Yes, it's cheesy, but it reminds me of high school.)

2. Santa Claus Is Coming To Town by Bruce Springsteen: Agree, agree, agree. I heard this the other day, my first time this year, and I just hate it. Of course, I'm not a big fan of changing the melody of a Christmas song anyway (see Third Day's horrid version of O Come Emmanuel), but this is horrid. I especially hate how he tries to interact with the crowd and no one seems to care. That should have been the first clue, Bruce. Don't play the song, please.

And number one (drum roll please):

1. The Christmas Shoes by Newsong: There was a family in my home church who was related to one of the Newsong vocalists, the old guy. After hearing this song, I felt really, really sorry for this family, because I'm sure that every Christmas their famous Christian artist probably sang this song to them and made them lose their Christmas dinner. This song is so filled with syrupy gooshy ickiness, it deserves an award. I give it the "Butterfly Kisses" award for too much forced sentimentality in a song.

As for others I would add to this list, I would say I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus ranks right up there. I used to not like Kay Thompson's Jingle Bells, but it's grown on me. The only way I can stomach The Twelve Days of Christmas is to hear the Muppets' version. Now that was genius. EDIT: after just hearing Andy Williams' version of 12 Days of Christmas, except redone as A Song And A Christmas Tree - I have to add it to my list. Ugghh.