The events that have recently taken place in Florida, where a 32 year old man plowed his truck into a car that then ran into a school bus and exploded, killing all seven children - yes, I said children - inside (the driver of the car was 15 years old), have really put me into a funk. Then I find out the grandfather of these kids died from a heart attack upon hearing the news. I don't know if I even have words to describe the thoughts and feelings going on inside me, so instead, I will post something that I got from some website who got it from some blog, who got it from...well, you know how it goes.
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I Know A Guy . . .
I've been pondering dogmatism lately; dogmatism defined as arrogant assertion of opinions as truths by The Random House Dictionary.
I blogged recently about the church needing to get out of the judgment business, but I find myself failing to heed my own advice. I recently opined to my friend Dennis that Pat Robertson was only concerned about money, power, position, and prestige. He wisely responded that he wasn't sure about that. Not only did I feel convicted for "judging the judger" (I constantly battle this), but it caused me to reflect on how healthy it might be to be "unsure."
Yes, I believe that Jesus is the Son of God and that the only way to have a relationship with Father God is through faith in His son. I believe God loves me. I believe that when I die I will go to heaven. I believe scripture is God's holy truth.
But . . .
I know a guy . . . let's call him Tom. Tom is a lower income beautician raising a son by an earlier marriage (his first wife turned lesbian) and a son adopted by himself and his current wife. I'm not sure whether Tom is a Christ follower or not. He doesn't seem to "follow," but he claims to "believe." Tom is addicted to pornography. Tom was accused, but acquitted of child molestation. Tom used to cut my hair.
In two days, Tom will travel to a hospital and have his penis cut off in the hopes of keeping his particularly aggressive form of cancer from spreading. The doctor will leave just a little skin on the off chance a day comes when Tom is able to raise the money to have reconstructive surgery and the hopes of a little normality. Tom has no insurance. Tom will now have to pee sitting down. Obviously, there are other activities Tom will no longer be able to perform. Tom is 38 years old. I like Tom. Please pray for him.
Is God judging Tom? Is this an example of sowing and reaping? Is it just life and would have happened no matter what? Is this God's love displayed in a way that is far beyond my understanding? If he is a believer, will this work out for his good? If he is not, will this propel him towards a relationship with God?
I don't know. I'm not sure.
I know a guy . . . let's call him Fred. Fred has a college degree and a successful career and works in an office right next to mine. Fred is the proud father of three kids, all in college. Actually, now only two are in college. His youngest daughter recently came down with an undiagnosed disease that has caused deterioration of her mental capacities and brought her to the brink of death three separate times so far. Sometimes she seems to be recovering, other times regressing. She has been taken to several doctors, including a few at the Mayo clinic. She is currently at home. She is nineteen years old and she wears diapers. Fred doesn't know how to help her.
Fred worries about his daughter. Fred worries about his job. His daughter's medical bills have contributed to the company's rising health care costs and that's not good. His latest performance review was poor and he's afraid he's being set up to be fired. Fred can't afford to lose his job as he just bought a new home, has kids in college, and supports his mother-in-law. Fred sometimes goes to church. Fred sometimes cries in the privacy of my office. Most times I don't know what to say. Please pray for Fred.
I know God loves Fred. I know God loves his daughter. But could this happen to me? Would I keep my faith? What would I do?
I mentioned earlier that being unsure could be healthy. When I'm unsure I have to lean more heavily on God. When I'm unsure I have to hold tightly to my faith to get through. Yes, I prefer wrapping myself in the security of being right, yet I'm realizing that that security is really the dirty rags of my own self-righteousness. I've noticed that when I'm unsure I'm neither critical nor judgmental.
Maybe being unsure isn't so bad sometimes.
I know a guy . . . his name is Jesus.
"That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day." 2 Timothy 1:12 (NIV)
2 comments:
Being unsure and having doubts ..that's what we've been talking about at 3rd place Mike read an article on doubt by Brian McClaren and he said "Doubt is not a bad thing" I think that's true ..I think when you're unsure it takes the focus off of you..it makes you search knowing that sometimes you're not going to get a black and white answer..that's where faith comes in I do believe that God allows things to happen to draw us closer to him and sometimes we don't understand why until months or years later
One of the things recently that "put me in a funk" was the picture you posted of the starving little girl crawling with the vulture behind her That picture has haunted me I don't understand something like that or the fact that someone can take a picture but not do anything to help her but it also made me look at myself and what am I doing to prevent something like that from occurring
C.S. Lewis has opened many windows for me regarding faith and doubt in times of tragedy; his book "A Grief Observed" is amazing
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