And Now For Something Completely Different...

Okay, so I really haven't had much to say - been too busy to really think. Okay? So, I decided to do something different.

As a worship arts minister, you would think that worship music would be constantly flowing in my head and brain. Nope. There is music that I'm constantly thinking about, constantly singing in my head - but it isn't worship music. What is it?

Veggie Tales, of course.

My almost 3-year-old daughter loves Veggie Tales, and so we listen to the CDs in the car ALL THE TIME.

One of her favorites is the Silly Songs CD. It also comes in DVD format, and is a countdown of the top 10 silly songs that have been featured on Veggie Tales videos.

Here is how the top 10 came out:

10. Endangered Love
9. The Dance Of The Cucumber
8. Larry's High Silk Hat
7. The Water Buffalo Song
6. The Song Of The Cebu
5. The Yodeling Veterinarian Of The Alps
4. His Cheeseburger
3. Love My Lips
2. The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything
1. The Hairbrush Song

Well, in this amazing post, I'm going to do my own top 10 - actually top 11 - and why I ranked them this way. Most of you won't care. But for those of you who have kids who love Veggie Tales, you'll understand. Here's the countdown:

11. The Dance Of The Cucumber

I really despise this Veggie Tales song. Not because it's sung in Spanish or anything, but because Bob translates Larry's song while Larry is singing, which makes it very hard to follow and very, very annoying.

Best lyric: none

10. The Hairbrush Song

Yes, this song is loved the most by Veggie Tales fans. I don't like it. I don't think it's very good musically or lyrically. I think it's boring. This song also could be number ten because I have to sing it to my daughter every night before bed as well.

Best lyric: "Why do you need a hairbrush you don't have any hair?"

9. The Water Buffalo Song

This is the first Silly Song ever made, and you can tell. It's not very creative or exciting.

Best lyric: "I took my buffalo to a store, got his head stuck in the door, spilled some lima beans on the floor..."

8. Larry's High Silk Hat

Creative and original, taking a famous operatic song and making it into a Veggie Tales classic. I like it, but not better than the other seven in front of it.

Best lyric: "A great big squash just sat upon my hat!"

7. Endangered Love

A song above love for a manatee named Barbara who is in a soap opera and doesn't know French. Yes, it's strange. But I really like how Larry dances with his stuffed animal manatee. Good stuff.

Best lyric: "Please don't go. I must. Don't go. I must. Don't, don't. Must, must!"

6. The Song Of The Cebu

This one and number five probably get switched in my mind in ranking every day. I like the slide projector aspect of this Silly Song. I like the three cebu - the sick cebu, the sad cebu and the mute cebu. Very creative.

Best lyric: "Mute cebu is grunting and waving, mmmmmmmmmmmmmhhhhhhhhhmoo moo."

5. The Yodeling Veterinarian Of The Alps

The best titled Silly Song. This doesn't make the very top, though because the transition between the barbershop quartet and the other stuff is kind of weird.

Best lyric: "He's gone a little loopy, in case you haven't heard. Here's a bottle of penicillin for your sickly arctic bird..."

4. Love My Lips

The last four are very, very close for me. This one is great, but not as great as the top three.

Best lyric: "Ten days after I turned eight, got my lips stuck in a gate. My friends all laughed, and I just stood there until the fire department came and broke the lock off with a crowbar and I had to spend the next six weeks in lip rehab with a kid named Oscar who got stung by a bee right on the lip and we couldn't even talk to each other until the fifth week because both of our lips were so swollen and when Oscar could speak, he spoke in Polish, and I only know like three words in Polish, except now I know four because Oscar taught me the word for lip: Usta."

3. Do The Moo Shoo

You may have wondered why the original Silly Song countdown had ten and I have eleven. This is why: because in the Silly Song countdown DVD, the contraption of Silliness breaks down, so Pa Grape tells Mr. Lunt and Larry the Cucumber to make up a song to buy him some time to fix it. Larry can't think of anything, so Pa Grape throws him a Chinese takeout menu, and he and Mr. Lunt come up with a song by singing the different entries. It's pure genius.

Best lyric: the whole song. "Chicken! Kung Pau...CHICKEN! Mongolian...CHICKEN! Sweet n' Sour...CHICKEN! Cashew...CHICKEN! Do the Moo Shoo - Moo Shoo, moo shoo, moo moo moo moo shoo...(do the moo shoo) PORK! Mandarin...PORK! Barbeque...PORK! Sweet n' Sour...PORK! Spicy Shredded...PORK! Do the Tofu! Tofu Tofu to to to Tofu...STOP! Break a fortune cookie! Beware of grape with wooden mallet. Ain't that the truth."

2. His Cheeseburger

#1 and #2 are so close, so so close. His Cheeseburger was my favorite for a long time. And the fact that Chuck E. Cheese plays it almost made me make it number one. But not quite. This is the first Silly Song not sung by Larry, and Mr. Lunt shines through. It's a song about a gourd named Jimmy and his love for cheeseburgers. Deep, man. Deep.

Best lyric: "'Cause he loves you cheeseburger with all his heart, and there 'aint nothing that can tear you two apart. And if the world suddenly ran out of cheese, you would get down on your hands and knees, and if someone accidentally dropped some cheese in the dirt, he would wash it off for you, wash it off for you, clean that dirty cheese off just for YOU! You are his cheeseburger..."

1. The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything

Yes, the number one silly countdown song. I know Pa Grape would be happy, because he was rather sad that the song that he got featured in only made it to number two in the original countdown. What's great about this song is after Pa Grape and Mr. Lunt sing about the "pirat-y" things they have never done because they don't do anything, Larry goes off on the strangest list of things he hasn't done that aren't even related to pirat-y stuff. It's classic, and original. Great stuff.

Best lyric: "Well, I've never plucked a rooster, and I'm not too good at ping-pong, and I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall. And I've never kissed a chipmunk, and I've never gotten head lice. And I've never been to Boston in the fall..." then later: "Well, I've never licked a spark plug and I've never sniffed a stink bug and I've never painted daisies on a big red rubber ball. And I've never bathed in yogurt, and I don't look good in leggings...Pa Grape: "You just don't get it, do you?" And we've never been to Boston in the fall."

Just in case you're wondering, I didn't have to look up the lyrics. I know them all.