When Clergy Lose Their Faith

There is a fascinating article in Psychology Today this month about the growing number of ministers and clergy who are losing their faith and are faced with a dilemma: continue preaching and living a lie of a life, or find a new career and be "true to themselves" (whatever that means).

I have to admit that there have been many times in my almost fifteen years of ministry when I've struggled with doubts, my calling, and my faith. However, there are some differences between my struggle and the struggles of some of these clergy who are leaving the pulpit.

One big difference is the reason behind my doubts and struggle. It seems like my struggles are more directly with the church itself rather than God. Even at times when I doubt who God is and if He exists, it has more to do with the lack of His activity (at least of what I can see) in the life of the church. I question sometimes why he would allow certain people - leaders, senior ministers, elders, etc. - to be in control of the church. In several churches I've been part of, those in leadership capacities are very controlling, domineering, and do not display at all the qualities of leadership that Jesus exhibited - serving others, putting others interests above their own, etc.

Sometimes I question the continued "success" of the juggernaut modern church. I don't understand why God would allow the "attractional, come to us" model of church philosophy to continue to work - where, in my opinion I guess, we find church after church that are a mile wide and an inch deep. Where success is judged based on church attendance and church giving (I call it the ABC's: attendance, buildings and cash).

I strongly believe in the missional model of the church, which is a reaction to three distinctions of the "Christendom church", as Alan HIrsch and Michael Frost call it. These three distinctions are: (1) an attractional mindset ("come to us"), (2) a dualistic nature of church (a division between the secular and the sacred), and (3) a hierarchical leadership structure (where senior ministers act more like CEOs of large corporations rather than act like Jesus). These distinctions deserve their own post, at some point, but if I really believe that the missional model of the church is the true biblical model, why does it seem that this philosophy isn't gaining ground faster?

Another reason why I doubt God sometimes is my perception of His activity in my own life. It seems that whether I'm growing in my relationship with Him, or if I'm stagnant in my relationship - His activity in my life remains about the same. Which then makes it easier for me to fake being super-spiritual, because I don't see anything different really happen.

I have many other reasons for my doubts - including the age-old struggle of many people as to why it seems that followers of God have more hardships than those who could care less about Him - but I won't go into them here. I just thought that it was interesting to read these stories of ministers who lose their faith.