A roller coaster.
The stock market over the last 15 years.
Take whatever analogy you want to take. Use whatever appropriate illustration.It would describe my spiritual walk.
Today I was writing in my prayer journal at an Atlanta Bread Company, waiting for my wife and her grandmother to join me for lunch, and I noticed that I had written in my journal six days in a row. A definite record for me.
You see, I believe I've grown in several areas of my life in the past few years. But one area that I continue to struggle in is this:CONSISTENCY.
I've lived a mostly up and down spiritual life. Many highs and many lows. Not a lot of middle ground that's been covered. In fact, I'm beginning to believe that I am a bi-polar Christian. Amazingly high in the clouds one moment, amazingly down in the rut the next.
For most of my life, I've felt that an inconsistent journey with God is a bad thing.Maybe I've been wrong.
I can see the definite negatives of bipolar spiritual journeys. Inconsistency means there are times when my walk is absolutely fantastic, I'm on cloud nine, and everything seems to be going great. But it also means that there are other times when I'm doing poorly, caught up in some kind of sin, and depressed about my life and lack of spiritual maturity.
But there are positives. If I don't experience the extreme highs of my walk with God, then in the low points I won't have the hope of achieving those high points again. And if I don't experience the extreme low points, then I will not understand the grace and mercy of God and his ability to lift a person out of the depths and remind them that He is in control.
Look at some of the characters in the Bible - to me it seems like most of them are bi-polar followers of God as well. Reading some of the psalms of David is like reading a book written by a bipolar person. Half of a psalm will be filled with praise, and then in the next instant will turn into a wail of misery. Reading the story of Elijah on the mountain battling against the prophets of Baal reads like a bipolar test subject story. There's Elijah, victorious over the prophets, turning his people back to God and enjoying one of the high points of his spiritual walk. But then in the very next chapter, he's fleeing for his life and asking God if He abandoned him.
So maybe having a spiritual journey with God that looks like my mutual fund over the past year isn't so bad.
Which brings me to my next question: Is there such a thing as a spiritual lobotomy?
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