Proverbs Experiment: Day Fifteen

Proverbs Chapter Fifteen:

Gentle words bring life and health; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. (vs. 4)

I thought it was interesting that this proverb contrasts "gentle words" with "deceitful tongue". Does this mean that Solomon, when he says "gentle words", really means "truthful words?" Because if that's the case, then what I've always thought about this verse is wrong. It then reminds me of the verse in the New Testament that tells us we need to speak the truth in love. Both parts of that instruction, speaking the truth, and in love, have to be there for us to do what is right. Unfortunately, I know there have been times in my life when I've done one of those parts without the other part.

The second half of this verse is interesting to me as well. As a parent, there are times when you feel like you have to be a little deceitful in order for your child to not freak out or whatever. Case in point: my daughter likes school, but for some reason - which may have to do with the fact that this is her fourth school in a year - she is clingy to my wife and doesn't want to leave her to walk down the stairs to her classroom. My wife tells her that she'll be waiting for her in the parking lot until school is over.

This isn't true.

But if my wife told the truth - that she is leaving right after our daughter goes into her classroom - she would probably freak out and not want to go to school. We are being deceitful. But is it sometimes okay to be deceitful, like in this situation?

Everyone enjoys a fitting reply; it is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time! (vs. 23)

Wouldn't our lives be a whole lot easier if we could actually say the right thing at the right time all the time? It reminds me of one of my friends who in college always stuck his foot in his mouth. He was always saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. One time we walked into an ice-cream shop, and we noticed that the specialty flavor that month was pumpkin ice cream, and he blurts out "Pumpkin ice cream? That's disgusting! Who in their right minds would eat pumpkin ice cream. You would have to be a complete moron..." and then he turned around and there was a family of four who all had big bowls of pumpkin ice cream looking at him.

There have been times in my life when I didn't know what to say to a person - like when a family member had died or they came to me for advice and I honestly had no wise words to say to them. Other times, like my friend, I have put my foot in my mouth, which at certain times were just embarrassing moments, and at other times actually have strained friendships.

I can think of a couple of ways to try and say the right thing at the right time all the time: (1) think before speaking - which for me is possibly easier because I'm an internal thinker anyway (in other words, I process things internally before I speak out vs. someone who processes things externally and uses conversation to solve problems and figure out answers); (2) don't say anything most of the time. That would be hard for a lot of people. Perhaps another way is to learn how to pantomime. All though most people hate mimes. I guess I'll go with number one!