Monday, December 01, 2008

Proverbs Experiment: Day One

So, here we go. And as I start with these Proverbs, chapter one seems to be the setup to the rest of the book. It's kind of like the jacket cover of a novel - the front entices you to read it with the cool design, the back shows a picture of the author, and the inside gives you a brief synopsis of what the story is about, and if there's room a couple of reviews from the author's friends (or colleagues).

Even though the first verse says that these are proverbs of King Solomon, I've heard that there are other varying opinions on who actually wrote the book of Proverbs. As good old wikipedia says, "However at the time of composition it was often the custom to place the name of the King or someone of prominence in writings in order to honor them, or to give those writings more prestige..."

Interesting, but not really worth debating over.

Their purpose is to teach people to live disciplined and successful lives, to help them do what is right, just, and fair. (verse 3)

I've obviously read the book of Proverbs before, but I've never really considered it as a guidebook to live a disciplined and successful life. I've always looked at it as kind of an interesting book of wise sayings that don't really apply to me today. I think I'm going to find out I've been wrong all these years. During this time of my life, as I'm looking towards "what's next": a career change, a move from a life of striving for success to a life of significance, a shift perhaps in priorities and what's important in my life - this could be an interesting way to begin.

My child, listen when your father corrects you. Don't neglect your mother's instruction. What you learn from them will crown you with grace and be a chain of honor around your neck. (verses 8-9)

I've actually thought about this over the past couple of years. After thinking about my upbringing, I've realized that most of what I've learned in life at an early age - how to be a man, manners, how to treat women, finances, etc. - I've pretty much had to learn on my own. My family life growing up was so chaotic: between the real father and the two stepfathers, having two brothers and two step siblings, my mom being sick for my entire high school days - that I was not given much instruction or even correction. When I learned how to shave, I figured it out on my own. When I asked a girl on a date and took her out, I pretty much fumbled my way through it. If I was struggling with homework, I kept on working at it until I got it right (or took an F). I think I missed out, honestly. It would have been nice to know what to do in certain situations before they happened. It would have been nice to not have to pull my foot out of my mouth all those times when I didn't know what to say but knew I had to say something. It would have been nice to know that certain haircuts look really, really stupid (mullet, anyone? How about a guy with a perm?). I think we fail to realize how much impact we really do have on our children if we allow that impact to happen.

My first car was a 1978 Datsun 200 SX, kind of like the one pictured below, but bright orange. And picture me, not "Ben", who is the guy standing next to the car.



I loved that car. I got it from a family friend for a hundred bucks. It ran smoothly, had those sheepskin seat covers, and an awesome cassette radio.

It lasted six months.

Why? Because I never changed the oil in it. And it had an oil leak I didn't know about. Here's the thing: I didn't know you had to change the oil in a car. I never knew that. I had never learned a thing about cars, except how to drive one. My stepdad didn't pass on any important information like that. He was rather mad when the car stopped working, because that meant I had to either borrow one of the other cars, or he had to drive me all over the place again. However, if he would have taken fifteen minutes to explain that you needed to change out the oil every three to five months, as well as other maintenance advice, there wouldn't have been a problem.

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Now that I'm a parent myself, I find myself trying to figure out what the fine line is between correction and nagging.

I want to make sure my five year old daughter is prepared for whatever she faces in life. I want to give her the instruction that I never received growing up. I want her to be ready for every situation possible. I want to be her own Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook that she can rely on in times of need.

That's rather dumb, isn't it?

Some things we do have to experience for ourselves. Not everything, like me growing up. But some things.

I think God works in this way, as well. Some things, he wants us prepared for: salvation, doing good works, treating other people in the right way. Other things, he lets us experience ourselves without instruction, because going through those things teach us: a health problem, a tragedy.


But all who listen to me will live in peace, untroubled by fear of harm. (verse 33)

This is "Wisdom" speaking in this section of chapter one. And an interesting promise. Hopefully, as I "listen" to what Wisdom has to say to me through the book of Proverbs over the next month, I will find myself more at peace and untroubled by what's happening in my life and the uncertainty that I'm in right now.

1 comment:

Rochelle said...

I had a Datsun as my first car too in 1982.
As a parent of grown children, you will always want to protect and prepare your daughter..and it's not dumb..it's love. Some things though they do have to learn the hard way and it hurts you as much as it does them but it leads to their own wisdom. I still don't think I have the nagging vs correction down but I have learned to pick my battles.
I do feel that God places "wise" people in my life..even if they weren't necessarily my "blood" family.