Proverbs Experiment: Day Twelve

Proverbs Chapter Twelve:

To learn, you must love discipline, it is stupid to hate correction. (vs.1)

Argh, thanks Solomon. I was doing pretty good with all of this proverbs stuff, and then you have to throw this one out there.

I hate being wrong.

I hate being corrected.

But it's stupid.

I'm also a wuss when it comes to being disciplined. I remember when I was two weeks from graduating from college, and I did something pretty stupid - which cost me my R.A. job for the rest of the year, which meant I owed the school for the last two weeks of the year, which meant I didn't get my diploma at graduation, just a diploma cover with a slip of paper in it that said, "Your diploma is not here because you still owe the financial office. Please stop by and make arrangements." That wasn't the worst part, though. The worst part was being in a meeting with several higher-ups at the college and have them debate (while I was in the room) what should happen to me. Should I get expelled (the vote was close)? Should I pay a hefty fine (I did)? Should I clean the entire dorms everyday for the last two weeks, even with finals and final papers and everything (yep)? It was horrible. I felt like a seven year old kid all over again.

I also grew up with the label "gifted and talented", so from my early school days, I've had this thing inside me that says that I have to know all the answers, I have to get all the answers right, I can't say anything wrong, I can't mispronounce anything, etc. etc. etc. Which makes it pretty darn hard for me when I do mess up. I can seriously go off on myself for days if I screw up just a little thing.

Maybe I need to put this on my list of things I want to change about myself - a list I just recently came up with. I'm not sure if I'm going through this soul-searching time because I'm out of a job and feeling pretty small self-image-wise, but it's causing me to really evaluate my life. I guess I can add one more thing to the list that I have (five things already on it).

A worthy wife is her husband's joy and crown; a shameful wife saps his strength. (vs. 4)

As I am fast approaching my twelfth wedding anniversary, this verse stands out. There are many amazing things about my wife. But one of them is how supportive she is of me and how she is my biggest fan and supporter. A word to the wise: if you say something bad about me, don't let me wife hear it. She will tell you off! I am so thankful to her, and in times like these right now, she has really helped me stay out of the self-pity party pit (try saying that five times fast) that I can throw myself into rather quickly.

She definitely strengthens me. There have been people in my life who have been strength-sappers and have made me feel like I'm either an idiot or I can't do anything, but she is not one of them.

A fool is quick-tempered, but a wise person stays calm when insulted. (vs. 16)

I'm pretty good at this. But probably not for the reasons that Solomon was thinking of when he wrote this. My reasons:

1. I lack the "quick comeback" part of the brain. Fifteen minutes after the insult, I can give you three or four amazing comebacks. But not on the spot.

2. I'm not good at one-on-one confrontation if someone is confronting me. The other way, no problem - but if someone gets in my face and insults me or is mad at me, I'm not good at reacting. At all. Which I guess makes me look slow-tempered.

3. My short-term memory is really bad since I had brain surgery, which means if you insult me, I may forget what you said right after you said it. Which is good I guess because "I don't keep record of wrongs", but it's more because of my brain problem, not because I've developed patience or anything in my life.

The only time this doesn't apply - you know, the whole non-quick-tempered thing - is when someone insults me for being wrong or corrects me for a mistake I've made (see above).